Resident evil 1 point 5
by super dark link
Summary: My parody of resident evil 1
1. The incident

I am now going to make a mockery of the orignal resident evil game. DONT HURT ME

OWN I DO NOTHINGNOT

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"Its twelve o clock, and my butt itches. That usually means something bad is about to happen, but I think nothing of it. Well besides the fact I may have a rash, but that does not matter because I am Chris Redfield and I…." But he was cut off by Barry slapping him across the face.

"SHUT UP." He yelled. "MAKE ME LUMPY." Chris fired back. And so Barry and Chris engaged in a slap fight. "WESKER PERMISSION TO KICK THEM BOTH IN THE NUTS." Jill yelled. "Permission granted." He said smoothly.

Jill turned and kicked both of them in there nuts. Wow for a small helicopter it sure is roomy. "Hey look it's the bravo helicopter." Joseph yelled putting his box of doggie kibble down. "Brad land now." Wesker said looking around.

"Joseph did you bring your box of kibble?" Wesker asked a little nervously. "YUP it's my lucky box. Why?" "No reason whatsoever." After brad landed everyone got off except for Chris and Barry. They fell off and got up shakily. "So much pain." Chris said slowly. "Here you retards." Jill said handing them both a first aid spray.

"Go spray behind a tree please." Wesker added quickly. They both shuffled off and returned a few seconds later walking perfectly. "Tingly." Barry said with a smile. Wesker turned and mumbled something about death by a giant snake.

Joseph, who now had his box in his hand, tripped and the box went flying. When it hit a rock it exploded and kibble went flying everywhere. "NOOOOOOOO MY KIBBLE." Joseph yelled.

As soon as the kibble was on the floor, seven dogs appeared out of nowhere with flesh coming off of there bodies. "Nice doggies, very nice doggies." Joseph said walking back slowly. Then one of the dogs began to eat some kibble. Joseph blinked and then fell into a rabid rage.

He jumped the dog and began to kick him, while yelling "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY KIBBLE." Soon the other 6 dogs joined in and after a couple of seconds Joseph was reduced to a puddle of brown blood. "Why brown?" Chris asked. "Too much kibble probably." Wesker said. One of the dogs turned and looked straight at brad. It seems Brad peed in his pants.

He began to take off when some off the pee went into the circuits and caused the helicopter to explode. "...he he he sorry." Brad said quickly. He turned and pulled out a manual. "What the hell is that?" Jill asked. "It's a manual on how to make a jetpack out of twigs, some leaves, a fire, and some metal." He responded.

After about twenty minutes Brad had a working jetpack. "Well see ya later suckers." He yelled laughing. After a while he disappeared and the 7 dogs turned toward the remaining S.T.A.R.S members. "Um something tells me we need to run." Barry said turning. "Hey lets run into that conveniently placed mansion and hope that there are no zombies or giant spiders or giant snakes or giant monsters with claws that might kill me." Wesker said quickly causing everyone to turn and stare at him.

"Why should we?" Jill asked completely forgetting about the dogs. "Um……..they have tacos?" Wesker answered. "OH MY GOD TACOS. I LOVE TACOS, WITHOUT TACOS I COULD EXPLODE INTO A MILLION PIECES." Jill screamed causing one of the dogs to die because his ears exploded.

Jill grabbed Barry, who grabbed Wesker, who Grabbed Chris and ran so fast to the mansion, it took the dogs fifteen whole minutes to realize they were gone. They began to chase after them. "JILL THERE GAINING ON US." Chris yelled. "BARRY REACH INTO MY POCKET AND PULL OUT A GERNADE." Jill yelled. Barry reached into her butt pocket and squeezed as hard as he could. "NO BARY THE OTHER ONE."

Again he reached into her second butt pocket and squeezed. "BARRY YOU DUMBASS THE OTHER POCKET." This time Barry reached into the right pocket and pulled out a grenade. He threw it and it landed in one of the dog's mouth.

After a few seconds it exploded causing one of the dogs to go flying and another to fly forward and break threw a window in the mansion. When they reached the doors Jill could not stop so she grabbed Barry and threw him in the air threw a window. Wesker and Chris went with him.

Jill calmly walked in and closed the door locking it. "Sorry guys. My bad….hey wait WHERE THE HELL ARE THE TACOS WESKER." Jill yelled. Barry walked down the stairs limping. "Around the corner and up your …." He was cut off by the sound of wesker screaming like a little girl. Jill ran back up and stopped when she saw Chris pulling a piece of glass out of Wesker's ass. Heh that rhymed.

"Do I want to know?" Jill Asked. "Less talkie more pullie." Wesker said. Chris pulled out another piece and wesker screamed again. Poor wesker…….lets see how brad is doing. He was flying over a wal-mart when a boy shot at him with a water gun. The water hit the flames and it exploded. "Mommy look fireworks." The boy said laughing at brad. Oh well.

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Yes i took that sentence from invader zim. GIR RULES. he is very funny. R&r 


	2. DARTH KITTY

The next chapter of my parody. Introducing DARTH KITTY

Disclamer: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT FOR DARTH KITTY

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After Wesker's little accident, the four of them sat on the floor of the entrance hall. "Now what?" Barry asked playing with a piece of string. 

"Why don't you just shut up?" Chris asked glaring at him. "Make me crotch boy." Barry retorted. "LOOK IT WAS ONE TIME AND IT WAS REALLY ITCHY." Chris yelled. Jill turned to look at them and yelled "SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I LET THOSE ZOMBIE DOGS CASTRATE YOU!"

Right when she said that Chris and Barry ran behind the staircase. "God what crawled up her ass and died." Barry whispered to Chris. Jill turned and walked toward the door, but before she opened it, they heard a gunshot.

Wesker gulped and looked around nervously. "What was that?" Jill asked. "Yea that sounded like a gunshot." Barry said listening for more.

"It's nothing." Wesker said quickly. "I think I'll check it out." Jill said walking out a pair of double doors on the right. She walked to the end of the dining hall and through a door at the end.

When she entered the next room, what she saw shocked her so much that she screamed. "What was that?" Chris asked. "How about you go and check it out." Wesker said smiling. "Uh….sure." Chris asked turning toward the door when all of a sudden it flew open and Jill walked in with something in her arms.

"Guys look I found him next to the dead body of Kenneth. Isn't he cute?" She opened her arms and out jumped a cat. "What the hell is he wearing?" Chris asked staring at the cat.

"It's a Darth Vader costume." Jill said smiling. "And he talks." She added quickly. "That's impossible." Barry said. "I bet all it can do is cough up hairballs."

"If I were you I'd shut up before I force your ass out the window." The cat said. "And my name is DARTH KITTY MWHAHAHAHAHA" He yelled.

"Ooooooo psycho kitty." Chris said. Then the kitty turned and moved his hand and Chris went flying. "NOBODY MAKES FUN OF ME." He yelled. "Hey Jill go check out the dining room again, and take stupid and stupider with you."

"Why should I?" Jill asked back. "Because I heard there were some tacos hiding in there." In a matter of seconds she was gone and so were Chris and Barry. "Well well well if it isn't Albert Wesker." "Darth Kitty. How did you end up here? I thought you were demoted for sending that executive flying out a window."

"I was, but they gave me a second chance. They want too see who can get the tyrant data first. Me or you." "Like a cat in a darth Vader suit with g-virus enhancements can beat me." Wesker said with a smirk.

Darth Kitty turned and pulled out a lightsaber. "I hope your ready to……..um…..oh crap…….is there a litter box anywhere near here because I gotta go badly." "Awww too bad." Wesker turned and kicked him in the air.

When Darth Kitty hit the ground he glared at wesker and jumped in the air." EAT KITTY POOP YOU WHORE." He yelled before spraying Wesker in a shower of poop. "AGH MY EYES." Wesker yelled before Jill walked into the room.

"WESKER YOU BITCH THERE WERE NO TACOS ANYWHERE." She yelled before kicking him in the nuts. "Hey I know a way out of this place." DK said. Yes I am lazy. "Come on I'll show you." He said smiling.

"Hey …wait…who...are…you…going…to…trust….a...cat...or...your…captain." He said in a lot of pain. "I go for the kitty." Jill said "Me too." "Me three." Chris and Barry both said. Poor Wesker.

DK took them past the dining room and through Kenneth's hall. When they got to the next room they met a zombie. "AHHHHHHHHHHH." Barry screamed. "IT'S MICHEAL JACKSON…….oh wait it's just a zombie." He pulled out a gun and shot it in the head.

"Let's go people." After a while of walking and shooting and walking and shooting and collecting stuff the four of them were in a room with four knights. "Shouldn't we look around for the answer of the puzzle?" Chris asked. DK walked up to the cage and forced it open. Then he ripped the box open and took out the death mask.

"See having a kitty with the force is a good thing." Jill said with a smile. "He helps us get by faster right DK. "Jill said smiling "Um….DK…..DK….Where are you." All of a sudden the room began to fill with poison gas.

Darth kitty was outside of the room making the gas rise. "Time to die stupid humans." He said smiling. Wesker limped into the room and he heard the yells of the other three and he turned towards DK. With a smirk he grabbed the nearest statues head and he threw it at him.

It hit him straight on his side and he went flying out of a window. The gas began to return and the three S.T.A.R.S ran out of the room with the mask. "Hey where's Darth Kitty?" Jill asked not noticing the cat shaped hole in the window.

Outside Darth Kitty got up from the grass and he turned and looked up at the mansion.

I will get my revenge on you Albert Wesker FOR I AM DARTH KITTY MWHAHAHAHAHAHAH." He yelled.

Then a crow flew by and pooped on his suit. "You know im getting to old for this. Even though im only 9 years old." He got up and pulled out a wipe. "DAMNIT."

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How did you guys like it. R&r please. MORE DARTH KITTY ON THE NEXT CHAPTER. 


	3. Faulty ceilings

My new chapter. Enjoy that new chapter smell...or is that my cat? Eh oh well

Disclamer:...DK IS MINE

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Sweat was poring from Jill's face. Chris was looking from side to side as Barry spoke in a whisper "Got any nines?" "GOLDFISH BITCH." Jill yelled. Wesker exited the dining hall and stared at the three on the floor in the middle of the main hall.

"What are you doing?" He asked. "Were playing goldfish." Chris responded. "IM WINNING." Jill yelled. All of a sudden there was a scream in the top of the mansion. Wesker turned to see the silhouette of a small Darth Vader walking towards the door. "Um you three go and check out the scream." "Um I was winning, I am NOT stopping." "Tacos…" "TO THE TACO-MOBILE." She screamed.

The three flew upstairs just as DK walking in through the front doors. "Hello Wesker. Im gonna get you back for the statue incident." He pulled out a lightsaber and he pointed it at Wesker. "Time to die. "He said. "Nah, I think ill kill you." He pulled out a lightsaber too and pushed the button. "Come on."

DK jumped and slashed at Wesker cutting some of his hair. "YOU ASSHOLE, ILL KILL YOU." Wesker slashed at him a couple of times only to be thrown into the stairs. Wesker ran into another room with a woman and a vase when DK ran in and kicked him onto the floor. "MWHAHAHAHA. I AM BETTER THAN YOU. YOU ARE WHORTH………" He was cut off as the ceiling broke and debris crashed n top of him.

Jill, Chris and Barry also fell down. "Woops." Barry yelled. Jill slapped him. "RETARD" She screamed. Wesker stared at them with curiosity. "What the hell happened?" He asked. "Well…..:"

_Flashback_

"_Jill you go in." "No you go in." "No you go in." Jill grabbed Chris and rammed the door down with him. "MY SPLEEN." Chris yelled. They looked around and saw another door. "Do you want to go in or be forced in?" Jill asked Barry with a psycho smile. _

_Barry opened the door and saw Rebecca on the floor. "What happened?" Jill asked "I was jumped by a…a…a THING." She yelled crying. "What thing. "Barry asked. "It was big and green and it threw me into the room and tried to cut off my head." "Ok then, come with us." "I can't I have to find Richard. Oh and as a gift you can have this grenade." She threw the grenade at Barry and ran off. _

"_Hey wait…she's gone. Oh well." Jill said. "Here Chris you can have it." Barry said throwing it at him. His finger did not come of off the ring and the actual grenade flew towards Chris. "AHHHHHHHH." He screamed as the grenade exploded and the floor fell down. _

_End flashback _

"…..And that's what happened." Wesker turned and looked at Chris who was on the floor in maximum pain. "Ok then lets go look for the other mask." Wesker said throwing a First aid spray at Chris. They went up and into an F shaped room.

Then they walked into the door on the low end. "OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT." "I think it's a mutant plant." Wesker said looking around for something to kill them with. "Hey look at what I found in the other room." Chris said pulling a bag of herbicide bag out of his pocket. "A zombie was holding on to it so I took it." Wesker grabbed the bag and dumped it in the water pipe killing the plants.

Barry walked over and grabbed the second death mask and turned to look at the rest of them. "Hey look Jill it's your cat." Barry said pointing at the cat in the Darth costume. "DARTH KITTY." She screamed grabbing him and pulling him in to a death hug. "Ow…..my ribs." He said as she let him go.

"Where did you go?" Chris asked. "I was looking for a way out." He lied. "You need to get all four death masks to get out, and I have the key to the third." He said. "Then let's go Jill said with a smile. "Yes let's go so you can MEET YOUR ULTIMATE DEMISE AT THE HANDS OF DARTH KITTY MWHAHAHAHA." "Um we can hear you." Wesker said. "Oh woops." He waved his paw and told them to forget. "You ass. You had to use a mind trick thingy to erase there minds." So like you could have done better." He said. Wesker glared at him and kicked him. "Asshole." DK mumbled

_Meanwhile_

Brad was currently in a tree fighting off some squirrels who wanted his wooden jet pack. "STAY AWAY YOU FIENDS." He yelled while slapping them. One of them jumped him and he fell off the tree….

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please read and review. also write whether i should start adding a small brad part as shown 


	4. Crimsons, Snakes, and Crows OH MY

DISCLAMER: COME ON YOU KNOW IT ALREADY

SORRY FOR THE WAIT. Ive been very busy with school and stuff.

Here it is folks Chapter Four: Crimsons, Snakes, and Crows OH MY PLUS A SPECIAL FIVE PART MINI-STORY CALLED BRADS DILEMMA ENJOY

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The three of them, sans Wesker, walked out into the front yard. "Oooo look its cupid." Barry said starring at the statue. "Use the damn arrow." Jill said throwing it at him. Her aim was WAY off and it stabbed him.

"OW YOU WIT…." He stopped when she gave him the evil eye. He placed it in and the statue moved. "Here's your gun back." Jill said throwing it at him hard on purpose. It hit him in the eye again and this time he tripped and fell down the long staircase.

"Well now we'll know how long it is when he stops." D.K said, and on que, Barry screamed. At this point your wondering what happened before right. Well let's go back

**20 minutes earlier**

Jill was walking towards the snake door with D.K. When Wesker disappeared the group split up. Barry and Chris would go get death mask number four while Jill and D.K would go after number three.

They entered the door and Jill looked around. "Roomy." She muttered. "Look over there." D.K said pointing and a dresser that had the death mask on it. "Cool." Jill said walking over to it. Suddenly a giant snake came out of a hole and yawned.

"HOLY CRAP." D.K screamed running around in circles, his phobia of snakes apparent. Jill pulled out her gun. She shot it but it just slithered around and bitch slapped her with its tail. Jill went flying. D.K sneaked over and got the death mask.

The snake sensed this and turned around glaring at him. If he could have, Darth would have peed in his suit. Jill ran over, picked him up, and ran right out of the room. "MY GOD THAT SNAKE WAS ON STEROIDS." D.K yelled falling down.

**Barry and Chris**

"Dude where are we?" Barry asked Chris. They where in a U shaped hallway with paintings and crows, on a metal pole, around them. "What do we do?" Chris asked. "Shoot the crows?" Barry answered back.

Chris walked forward, but the crows just looked at him. "Hmm I guess we have to press the buttons in the right order. Just start guessing." Barry walked over to one with a Valiant knight and pressed the button. It turned orange. "Ok then, next." He said turning to Chris.

He pressed one on the other side and it turned Green. It went on for about four minutes when only two where left. Sweat pouring from his face, Chris pressed one and nothing happened. "Go Barry." Chris told him. He pressed the final one and the wall moved revealing the death mask. "YAY." Barry yelled bouncing. He accidentally knocked his gun off his belt and the rest went in slow motion.

The gun hit the floor and it shot hitting the pole. The crows screamed and attacked. The two men screamed and ran out of the room with crows pecking there faces. "GET AWAY." Barry screamed and he fell down some stairs. Jill and D.K where at the bottom. The group walked to the main hall when the lights whet off.

A girly scream pierced the air. "JILL." Barry yelled. "That wasn't me." She responded. Chris laughed embarrassedly. Something hit D.K on his head knocking him out. His masked was removed and something was injected into him. Him mask was put back on and the lights came back on. "Darth." Jill said kneeling over him. "Awww he's sleeping." She picked him up and they went towards the front yard.

**Present Time**

Darth Kitty awoke before they got to the statue. As they descended the staircase Chris tripped over Barry's body. Jill and D.K just stepped over them and began placing the masks in there proper place.

Chris and Barry got up and wobbled a bit. Soon all four were in place. The coffin, hanging in the air, began to break. Blood poured out. When it hit the floor it opened and a Crimson Head popped out.

"KILL IT D.K." Jill screamed running from it. Darth tried to use the force but it didn't work. The Crimson Head ran towards him but he dodge and it landed on Jill. Awkwardly,

its hand landed on her breast.

She exploded and began to punch it in the face repeatedly until it was a blobby, red, pulp. Barry grabbed a stone/metal object from the coffin. "Note to self don't touch Jill in an inappropriate place." Barry mumbled

**Brads Dilemma PART 1 **

Brad was limping from the tree, with tears in his shirt. "Pain." He mumbled. When he made it to the crossroad the sign said go. Brad walked forward unaware of a speeding car coming his way. It hit him at 70 mph and Brad flew all the way to Raccoon Hospital.

He broke the window in a room and hit the bed. A doctor ran in and stared at him. Two minutes later his was being rushed to and emergency room. The doctors began talking about him not making it. He was put on some medicines and some liquid but his wound was too big. He began to see the light.

Walking towards it he appeared in a white room with a desk and an old man "Welcome to Heaven. Name please." The man told him. He looked at him oddly before answering Brad Vickers. A book popped out of nowhere in front of the man and he flipped through some pages.

"Brad Vickers. Here we are. Oh… oh my, it seems you abandoned your comrades in the mansion. YOU PUSSY." The man screamed, throwing the book at him. It hit him square in the face and he fell back. He fell through the white and a voice echoed through his head. "Rejected you asshole."

He awoke in a hospital bed looking around. He got up and tried to climb out of the window. "I have to rescue them." He told himself. He managed to get out, but an alarm blared. Four pit bulls started chasing him. He tripped and they jumped him. Poor Brad.

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Hoped you liked it I promise i will update soon. 


	5. Oh captain my captain!

DISCLAMER: I don't own anything but Darth Kitteh

Wow. My newest chapter in over 2 years. Heh heh sorry. Long writers block. Anyway wthout further ado here's chapter 5! Oh Captain My Captain!!!

Also a new Brad's Dilemma! See if you understand the refrence. :3

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After searching the mansion for hours, the group finally managed to find a use for the stone and metal object. After walking through deep woods they finally ended at a residence.

"So it was for a door!" Chris said. "I seriously thought it was a weapon." "Yea…only you would actually use that to violently kill the only other thing in this mansion that had any brains." DK said shaking his head.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that the zombie was actually Prince?" "The guy started singing Purple Rain dumbass." Jill said, shaking her head as well. "Really? I thought he was moaning." Chris said. "God how in the hell did you get into S.T.A.R.S anyway?" DK asked quizzically.

**FLASHBACK YAY**

Chris was standing in a line with about 4 other men. "So all ov you vant to be Stars members correct?" A German woman said as she hovered over each of them, looking hard at their faces. "Well do you tink you have vat it takes? I DON'T! YOU ALL LOOK LIKE SORRY PIECES OF SHNITZLE!!! I vill test you to make sure your worthy. Only one will survive! The survivor will become a member of stars! Now…..FIGHT TO THE DEATH!" As soon as she said this she flew out of the room. One handgun fell from the ceiling, falling on top of Chris. "Oooo a water gun!" He said, laughing childishly. "Ha! Take that!" He said firing the gun. The bullet bounced off the wall going through the skull of one of the men, continuing through to the heart of another, flying through another's throat, and finally piercing the last man's chest. "Oh….it was real…..OH WELL."

**END HORRIBLE FLASHBACK!**

"Wow that explains so much." DK said, nodding. "You know….Barry's been awfully quiet…." Jill said looking around. "Were the hell is he? Did he vanish like the Captain?" Jill asked. "OMG IS HE HOUDINI?" Chris yelled looking like a child at Christmas. "I wanna vanish too! It's not fair" He yelled. "Trust me, we want you to as well…" DK muttered.

**In another room in the residence.**

"Captain why did you kidnap me?" Barry asked, confused. "What about the others?"

"Barry I require….your services…" Wesker said grinning.

"Services? OH GOD ARE YOU GONNA RAPE ME? PLEASE NO, NOT AGAIN!"

"WHAT? NO YOU TWIT. Wait…what do you mean again?

"Oh never mind. Just some repressed memories." He said smiling.

"……okay….. Anyways, Barry your gonna do some things for me."

"What thongs?"

"…..I said things…."

"Oh sorry, more repressed memories. Wait, why should I do anything for you?"

"Because if you don't your family will be in grave danger. They will die."

"Oh I don't care about them, there a bunch of gold digging hoes."

"Oh….I see. Um well then….if you don't…..we'll kill your cat?"

"NO OH GOD NO NOT FLUFFLES. PLEASE NOT MR. FLUFFLES. I DO ANYTHING ANYTHING!"

Wesker grinned. "Anything? Even double crossing your team and leading them into their imminent death to the hands of a godly creature created from science?"

"Um…….sure?"

"HeheheheHAHAHAHAHA! Now about that rape…."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

**Back to the trio**

"Did I just hear Barry scream?" Jill asked, turning to the others. "I didn't hear anything." DK responded.

"Mh ehtr." Chris said. "Wait what the hell…" Jill said. She turned only to see Chris with a book in his mouth. "What the hell Chris? Where did you get this?" She asked, yanking the book out of his mouth.

"The floor." He said nodding. "God you're an idiot." DK said slapping him with his tail. As Jill inspected the book, a file fell from the cover. "Hmm?" DK picked up the file and began reading.

"_October sometin _

_So all that money that was pored into this shit and all we could make was a giant plant with big ass tentacles. I wonder what the head researcher was thinking. I bet the mofo wanted to make live action tentacle rape….anyway, we found out that this substance called V-JOLT could kill the bulbasa-I mean the plant 42. Why the fuck did we call it plant 42 you might be asking. Well it was the 42 attempt at making a Pokémon. So far….its the closest were ever gonna get. But I digress. I write this in hopes that someone will kill the plant as an act of revenge for the bastard de-flowering me….._

_Signed Alberta Halvenarn"_

"Exotic last name…. must be French." Chris said nodding. Jill glared at him. She picked up a nearby stone and tossed it at his nuts; Bullseye. "AH THE PAIN!" He yelled. "Well she told us what we need but how do we use it?" Jill asked. "Oh wait, there's more." DK read on.

"_P.S _

_You pour the chemical on its roots in the basement control room retards."_

"Convenient, lets go!" Jill announced. "Wait, what do we do about him?" DK said, pointing at the incapacitated Chris. "Give him a first aid spray, he'll be fine." DK tossed him a spray but unfortunately it hit the worst place. "AH GOD DAMNIT!"

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"Ah god damnit…" Jill said sighing. They had successfully made the chemical, testing it on Chris to make sure it worked, and then they headed to the basement. Only they found something unexpected. It was flooded.

"Someone left the tub on." Chris muttered. "Well it can't get worse than this." He said.

As the three entered the next room, Jill made a mental note to kick him in the balls. The next room was filled with water…….and sharks. "Ah…damn."

DK noticed the control room a ways off and devised plan. "Jill…" He whispered. "Uh huh….okay…..yea…okay! Let's do it!" She yelled. She pulled out her gun. "Chris READY?"

"For what?" He asked. Jill aimed at his leg and shot. "OH JESUS CHRIST" He yelled.

"RUN!" Jill screamed. DK and Jill ran straight for the door, leaving Chris behind. The sharks followed them, but stopped once they smelled the blood on Chris. Every shark in the room swam straight for him.

The two managed to make it to the control room unharmed. Acting quickly they poured the chemical onto the roots and calmly walked back outside. They where surprised to see the sharks playing with Chris.

"What…..the….hell…?" Jill said aloud. Chris turned to them and yelled "HAI GUYZ! IM AQUAMAN!"

"His stupidity is a blessing in disguise…." DK mumbled.

After that ordeal, the three made it to a room outside the Plant's room. "Okay, ready guys?"

"Yup." DK said holding his light saber. "Are you gonna shoot me again." Chris asked, afraid. "Of course not." Jill said. She turned to DK and whispered "If it comes to it lets feed him to the plant." DK nodded.

The three entered the room weapons raised! Only to find…..

"Oh fuck me…" Jill mumbled.

There had been two plants. A small one and a much larger one. It appeared that they had killed the smaller one leaving the big plant in an angry stage. It shot two tentacles out capturing Jill and DK.

"OH NOES!" Chris yelled. Panicking he ran in circles until he tripped. "Fuck…..where…doomed…" DK said, being choked. All hope seemed lost until….

"HAVE NO FEAR BARRY IS HERE!" Barry stormed into the room with a flamethrower in his hand. "READY…AIM!" "Barry….wait!" Jill yelled.

"FIRE!" He pulled the trigger and flame spewed out. The wrong direction.

Barry had been holding the weapon backwards and now his hair was on fire.

"AHHH SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS" Barry began to run forward until he hit the wall. Everything was a disaster.

"What's this?" Chris said. He had found a box of red sticks near the door. "Warning do NOT light." He read. "Hmm. OKAY." Idiotically he lit one. "CHRIS NO!" Jill yelled, but it was too late. He tripped and soon all the sticks where on fire. "Whoo-"

**BOOM!**

**Brad's Dilemma….**

He managed to escape the dogs and soon he found himself outside the RPD. "Yes….so close!"

"Hey mister!" Brad turned only to come face to face with his worse nightmare. Girl scouts. "Wanna buy some cookies?" One girl asked innocently. "No sorry. I have to hurry." "No? You sure?" "Yes im sure now leave me alone!" "Positive?" "JESUS YES NOW GTF-" All of a sudden a cookie shaped like a shuriken stabbed him in the eye. "OW!" Soon poor brad was being pelted with shuriken cookies. "No…so close…" Soon afterwards he fainted due to extreme blood loss. Chief Irons found him awhile later and called a ambulance for him. Maybe he was due for some good luck. Just then the ambulance exploded.

Maybe not…..

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I promise to update more frequently, please review! Also look out for my new story The Legend Of Rukia!


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